Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Confessions of a Full-time Working Mom

A lot of people have been asking me why I would not let my hubby work and me stay in the house to take care of our little one. I’ve given a pretty much obvious scripted answer “This is not a good time for me to quit. When Tri turns 5, I’ll stop working and focus on his first official school year.” Although it wasn’t a direct answer at all, some of my officemates would eventually stop asking more questions. But some–to my great annoyance–would continue with their interrogation (as if me working is such a big crime!). Like, when would I allow hubby to go back to work so that there’s two of us earning money? or why not let him work abroad? or let him apply on our very own workplace?
I found all those questions absurd.
Obviously, world for parents like me and world for non-parents like them have a very thick, gigantic wall that separates our cultures, beliefs and point of views–basically totally different ways of lives. I came to understand that and I respect their views. But, one thing I cannot fathom is why a mom and wife like me working, is like…taboo to them! Let’s blame it on the Pinoy ways of being conservative (can I add “too much” before the word conservative?).
So for you guys, who have not reached the peak of being human (became a parent, in a more polite way), sorry. But I am honestly not good with verbal explanations specially if I need to let my emotions out. So, I’ve made a list for you that hopefully answers all your questions.
BTW, I am gonna give you a warning–this is based from my real emotions so, pardon me if some statements sounds harsh to you.
So, why am I still working? Well,
1st, I have a big TRUST issue. On everyone. I only trust two guys. (three, before, but since my Dad died, I only got two left). I trust myself and the other one’s for sure not you, not anyone I know. Not even hubby. Well–ok, I know that’s gotta offend him or anyone reading this. But there are just some things that I cannot depend on him, like work for example. Some guys just dont know what work ethics are. Some guys just wanna be boss all the time that they do not understand that everybody gets a position and a title by working hard on it. Some guys just dont know how to control their temper or know their limits. Some mix professional and personal life which often leads to wreckage.
Been there.
It was awful.
2nd, I started to believe that I should strike while the iron is still hot. For someone like me–an undergraduate girl who came from a struggling family–having  a job that I have right now is like seeing a comet in the dark night sky. Something I shouldn’t miss. Something that could only happen in after who-knows-how many years. When I entered the BPO industry, I’ve always know that this business isn’t that stable and some time in the future, might close and I will lose whatever I have today. Still, I told myself that as long as outsourcing works, I have work to do. And as long as they dont fire me, I’ll hold on to my job as if I am holding my son’s hand.
Well, I also have personal grudge to everyone who’s made fun of me when I was younger, like my classmates way back in grade school. Who doesn’t hate mean girls? Who doesn’t hate coming home from school crying with a broken eyeglasses or school uniform that looked like wall grafiti? I hate those years. I hate it because I cannot top them. Because our family does not have enough money back then to slap on my teachers’ faces so they can treat me like a princess. We didn’t have money. I only have a Dad who’s as diplomtic as a president or an ambassador negotiating with other parents. All the pain I endured during my younger years paid off. I am an undergrad. I didn’t pass any bar exam, no license, no nothing–just me and my guts–well, hey, I am earning twice or even three times than those mean girls are getting now! Let’s slap each other with our payslips! Yeay me! Ego–count that as my third.
4th. Practicality. The person who’s got a much more stable job, be the one to bring home the bacon. And we’re talking about huge chunks of bacon here :p
No nanny. Count that as my fifth. My son grows up with either me or hubby taking care of him. End of discussion.
Last, but not the least, I am an independent woman. I can do what a man can, even do much better than them. Not because I am a girl doesn’t mean that I dont have the right to work. History had that changed centuries ago. Women are now allowed to do what they wanna do. Women–specially wives–do not need to be stuck at home and rot taking care of the kids while husbands are out there socializing with other people. Every woman has the right to choose how to make a living and no matter what she chooses sure only means good for herself or her family. No working mom like me, chooses to work to get rid of the responsibility at home. Work outside the house is different from the work mothers and wives perform inside the house.
Well, I guess not everybody could understand this. Not everyone was born to become a wife and a mother.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Tri's Birthday Celebration at Maxx's

When: May 24, 2010
Location: Maxx's Restaurant, SM North EDSA

So I have to make up to my two boys for watching a movie and going out with my girl friends on the same exact date as my son's second birthday. Lunch with my two boys was a perfect plan. It should have been like that. It should have been just me, hubby and baby. But since, this is me being nice to hubby, our family lunch ended with some extras. 

Well, well...everybody knows I am not really that good in socializing, or keeping things casual with other people. Other people--I can tolerate. But having to include SILs is not my kind of celebration. 

Fine, call me anti-social, but I just really hate family reunions. Specially if the guys from the "other side of the wall" are concerned. Everybody knows they are my least priority, perhaps even being excluded from my list. But I have to be nice and casual as hubby said. Just be nice and get this thing over with. 

Remembering not to spoil the real reason for having this lunch, I focused myself on the food :D

Maxx's famous fried chicken legs and sauté d veggie

  hubby's all time fave lumpia


pancit canton

The food was great (minus the annoying guests and comments over the table). All in all, I think Tri enjoyed having that lunch. If my son likes it, I like it too.

Tri in his mall car

 SILs and hubby finished it off with some "kodak moments" while I made my escape by taking my boy for a stroll away from that place. I hate to ruin the celebration, but having the extras kills me--on the spot!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Here Comes The Bride and Amici Day!

May 23, 2010

This date, my son turned 2 and it felt like I was reborn. Did I ever mention me having no social life? Or was I too busy not to ever mind that I do not have a normal way of life? I cannot remember when was the last time I went out with my girl friends. Cannot remember when was the last time I felt like a 16 year-old girl. Did I ever reach 16? Or did my calendar skip that year and end up at age 23 right away?

Glad I agreed with my friend Divi to schedule a girl's lunch out.

Right after my Sunday shift, (ok, right before I finish my Sunday shift...ugh!), Anna (a.k.a Jelly) and I hurried down to SM Megamall to meet Divi and Myra to catch the lunch time show of the movie Here Comes The Bride

This was a funny as hell Filipino movie! (my very first Tagalog movie I watched in a theater). It was our good friend Divi who insisted we should watch this. What a stress reliever! :p Happy I agreed. The cast ensemble was unbelievable. I will not deny that I had a great time watching this! A plus for this movie because I recognize some of the shots on my very own home town (or somewhere near it).

I originally plan to escape right after the movie, feeling a little guilty that I am having a good time while I should be at home celebrating with my son. But I ended up walking in an unfamiliar area on that mall, staring at the stores like a tourist, then agreeing to eat at an Italian resto called Amici.

Here's what we ordered:

gelato, red spaghetting with clams and shirmps, fried mozzarella and pizza with white sauce, mushrooms and bacon...hmmm! yummy...
Myra and Divi
metal mouth buddies, me and jelly :p

We agreed to do this girl's day out some other time.

Hmmm..I have a few options in my mind.

Never thought I'd say this, but I gotta love doing things I don't normally do--normal things a girl my age should  do :)