Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Exploding Bomb

Today, 10:02PM Manila Time, the bomb in me exploded.

Rewind, Thursday, 1/21/2010.
My life sounded like a tick bomb. I am counting down the days before Sunday afternoon. I do not want that day to come. Few days after the start of 2010, my dear friend Josh a.k.a Hephaestion talked to me about him planning to transfer to the new project that our company have. He said that it is just the perfect timing. All his plans for 2010 is finally falling into its respective places. With him transferring to the new project, he'll have enough time for his family, he can finally go back to school to finish his studies, and he would still be able to fly to Italy! I am so happy for him! He can accomplish all those things and it's not even mid-year. I was so happy until I finally realize "how about me?"

Fast-forward, Sunday, 1/23/2010.
Here comes the final ticking of my clock. 7 minutes before 1:00PM Manila Time. I can hear Spice Girls' "Goodbye, my friend, I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here...better keep it strong before the pain turns into fear...". I fought my tears back. No I am not going to cry. Jokingly, I said "What's with the song?". Josh naughtily smiled, "Testing our tear glands, I know mine isn't working anymore!". Spice Girls ended, but was immediately followed by Mariah Carey's "This is for my people who just lost somebody, your bestfriend, your baby, your man or your lady...". I logged out as soon as I saw the digital clock on my avaya hitting end shift. I was trying as hard as I could to leave the premises. But Josh volunteered to walk me out. I asked Jelly to come with us. I know it is not going to be a no-tear-formula :) I hailed the next jeepney I saw, said my last goodbye, gave my last hug and rushed to the waiting vehicle, not looking back. It was saddest time of my life after the death of my father. The tear I was holding back just started to drop. Thoughts came rushing to my head. There was a weird feeling of deja vu, my jaw was tightened, and I can feel the shortness of my breath. I knew I had to let it go. And just in time, I heard the radio played Through the Years. (No, we were not intimately involved! We're like sisters or even closer...). The words hit me like a cold stone "through the years when everything went wrong, together we were strong, I know that I belong..." I finally let it go. I fumbled through my phone and send him this message "F****ng jeepney! F*****g song! I failed testing my tear gland :( I'll sure look for you everyday, you bi*ch!!"

Josh: I'll send you the bucket of tears as soon as I'm done